Pls help . I married my mum's boyfriend

Pls help . I married my mum's boyfriend
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Pls help . I married my mum’s boyfriend. My mum is a widow,my dad died very early so my mum started dating,I felt the guy was too young for her so I feel in love with him and snatched him from her with pregnancy and he married me .out of anger my mum disowned me and asked never to set her eyes on my again, I moved to Lagos with him and we got married ,I gave birth and the child was deformed, so my husband abandoned me and disappeared, bom I am suffering and dont have anyone to help me,I hear my mum is living large and has married ,I feel so ashamed How do I go back to beg her? I need help,all my relatives has abandoned me too,I am frustrated with this child . Bom I am still a small girl of 19 years please help me . What can I do.